3 males a day ?

A Russian American lady came to see the doctor. She spoke in a very heavy Russian accent:

 Doc, I've been losing weight recently. I am so skinny now. Please, what shoud I do?

The doctor asked her a few questions and then advised her to eat enough:

 You should have at least 3 meals a day, OK? Then you will be OK. Come see me in a month or so.

A month later, the lady came to see the doctor again looking worse.

- What's happening here? You are now even more skinny than before. Did you take my advice seriously?

- Yes, I did, doctor. I always tried my best to have sex with three men each day!

- What? what do you mean?

- Didn't you say: "Try to have 3 males a day" ??!!

second language very important

family of mice were surprised by a big cat. 

Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!"

The cat ran away.

 "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. 

"Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language." 

don't worry

A couple has  been married for  ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home".

Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again.

- "Joel," she said, "I don' t like this place at all. There are no curtains in the
bathroom. The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath."

- "Don't worry." replied her husband. "If the neighbors  see you, they'll buy curtains."

like a gentleman

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt’s house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,
“ Now here’s a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman,”
“Like a gentleman?” Dick asked. “How do gentleman do it?”
“They always give the bigger piece to the other person,” answered his aunt at once.

“Oh,” said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he tool the cake to his sister and said to her,

“Cut this cake in half. Catherine.”

present perfect tense

They are married. - How long have they been married ? they have been married for 20 years.
Diana is in the hospital - Diana has been in the hospital since tuesday. - We have known each other for a long time.
How long have you known Jane? (không nói “have you been knowing”) 
I have had a pain in my stomach since I got up this morning. 
I have not seen Peter since morning. - Tiffany has not phoned me for a weeks.
have you ever travelled a lot Jackson ? - Have you ever been Janpan , Tommy ?
I have drunk 4 coca cola today . - Have you had a holiday this year yet ?
it is the first time , he has driven a car

I am looking for a key, I can not find it, so I have lost my key. (lose -lost - lost)
they are married - how long have they been married - they have been married for 5 years.
ANNA is in the hospital - she has been in the hospital since monday .
We know each other very well - We have known each other for a long time !
I HAVE NOT SEEN TOM SINCE TUESDAY
Mary has not phoned me for 2 weeks !
have you ever travelled around the world.
have you ever been Italy ?
I have met a lot of people in the last few days 
he has not had any problem so far
I have done a lot of work today.

I did a lot of work yesterday.

have you seen David this morning ?

did you see Tiffany yesterday morning ?

                                   PAST PERFECT  had + V(participal)

When she arrived the station, the train had gone 

Kim did not go to the market, because she had gone before.

the boy  sitting next to me on the plane  was very nervous, he had not flown before.

when we went out. The sun was shining. But it had been raining, so the ground was wet.

Ann was sitting in an armchair watching television. She was tired because she’d been working very hard.

learn about : used to

She wasn’t used to driving on the left (when she came to Australia). But after 12 weeks she  got used driving on the left.  Now , 3 years latter,  She is used to driving on the left.

I am used to the weather in Melbourne.

Our new flat is on a very busy street. I expect we’ll getused to the noise, but at the moment it’s very disturbing.

This building is now a furniture shop. It used to be a cinema.

I used to think he was unfriendly but now I realise he’s a very nice person.

when I was a child I used to like motor bike.

Dennis stopped smoking two years ago. He doesn’t smoke any more. But he used to smoking. He used to smoke 40 cigarettes a day.

I used to live alone. (= I lived alone in the past but now I don't  live alone)

I am used to living alone. (= I live alone and I don’t find it strange or new because I’ve been living alone for some time).

Did you use to eat a lot of sweets when you were a child?  I did not used to  like her.

use like & as

like is a NOUN : Tiffany has likes and dislikes
like is a VERB : do you like dog ? i like his song
parents like their children to be successful in life
I should like a cup of tea. what would you like ? you may do as you like
shall we sing a song now ? if you like
I don’t like the sound of that cough
2. We use like as a preposition : like + N or like + V.ing or like + somebody doing something
what a beautiful house! It’s like a palace
“What does Sandra do?” “She’s a teacher, like me.
Be careful ! The floor has been polished. It’s like walking on ice.
“What’s that noise?” “It sounds like a baby crying.”
As + S +V
I didn’t move anything. I left everything as I found it.
They did as they promised. (= They did what they promised)
You should have done it like this. (like + đại từ)
You should have done it as I showed you. (as + S + V)
as you know /as I said/ as she expected/ as I thought v.v...:
As you know, it’s Tom’s birthday next week. (= you know this already)
Jane failed her driving test, as she expected. (= she expected this beforre)
as usual / as always: You’re late as usual.
As : preposition
Brenda Casey is the manager of a company. As the manager, she has to make many important decisions.
Mary Stone is the assistant manager. Like a manager (Brenda Casey), she also has to make important decisions.
During the war this hotel was used as a hospital. (so it really was a hospital)
Everyone is ill at home. Our house is like a hospital. (it isn’t really a hospital).
As = in the position of, in the form of v.v... (trên cương vị là...):
A few years ago I worked as a bus driver.
We’ve got a garage but we haven’t got a car, so we use the garage as a workshop.
Many English words (example, “work” and “rain”) can be use as verbs or nouns.
London is all right as a place to visit, but I wouldn’t like to live there.
The news of her death came as a great shock.
I regard her as my best friend.


As = because
As it was a public holiday, all the shops were shut. (= because it was a public holiday)
As they live near us we see them quite often.
We watched television all evening as we had nothing better to do.

use The & a/an

I had a sandwich and an apple for lunch.

The sandwich wasn’t very good but the apple was nice.

A man and a woman were sitting opposite me. The man was American but I think the woman was British.

When we were on holiday, we stayed at a hotel. Sometimes we had our evening meal at the hotel and sometime we went to a restaurant.

Tom sat down on a chair. 

Tom sat down on the chair nearest the door.

Ann is looking for a job.

Did Ann get the job she applied for?

Have you got a car?

I cleaned the car yesterday. 

I took a taxi to the station.

I’d like to speak to the manager, please.

I must go to the bank to get some money and then I’m going to the post office to get some stamps.

Carol isn’t very well. She’s gone to the doctor.

I hate going to the dentist.

Is there a bank near here?

My sister is a dentist.

Susan works in the city centre.

My brother in the army.

“How often do you go to the cinema?” “About once a month.”

“How much are those potatoes?” “£1.20 a kilo.”

She works eight hours a day, six days a week.

What is the longest river in the world?

The earth goes round the sun and the moon goes round the earth.

I’m going away at the end of this month.

Paris is the capital of France.

The sun is a star.

The hotel we stayed at was a very nice hotel.

We looked up at all the stars in the sky.

Would you rather live in a town or in the country?

We must do more to protect the environment. (= the natural world around us)

There are millions of stars in space.

I tried to park my car but the space was too small.

Your pullover is the same colour as mine. 

These two photographs are the same. 

I often go to the cinema but I haven’t been to the theatre for ages.

I often listen to the radio.

We heard the news on the radio.

I often watch television.

We watched the news on television.

Can you turn off the television, please?

There isn’t a theatre in this town.

I’m going to buy a new radio/television.

What did you have for breakfast?   We had lunch in a very nice restaurant.

What time is dinner?   We had a very nice lunch.

Our train leaves from Platform 5.

Have you got these shoes in size 43?

Alison is ten years old. Every day she goes to school. She’s at school now. School begins at 9 and finishes at 3.

Today Alison’s mother wants to speak to her daughter’s teacher. So she has gone to the school to see her. She’s at the school now.

Ken’s brother is in prison for robbery.

Jack had an accident last week. He has taken to hospital. He’s still in hospital now.

 Jill has gone to the hospital to visit Jack. She’s at the hospital now.

When I leave school, I want to go to university.

Mrs Kelly goes to Church every Sunday. The workmen went to the church to repair the roof.

Keith is a seaman. He spends most of his life at sea.

I’d like to live near the sea.

It can be dangerous to swim in the sea.

how to use on/in & at

They arrived at 5 o’cock.
They arrived on Friday.
They arrived in October. / They arrived in 1968.

at : 
often use with TIME at 5 o’clock at 11.45 at midnight at lunchtime at sunset v.v... 

on :
often use with DAY on Friday on 12 March 1994 on Christmas Day on my birthday

in :
often use with  BIG TIME ( months/years/seasons): in October in 1968 in the 18th century in the past in(the)winter in the 1970s in the Middle Ages in (the) future


I don’t like going out at night.
Will you be here at the weekend?
Do you give each other presents at Christmas? Mr Benn is busy at the moment / at present. Liz and I arrived at the same time.

in the morning(s) in the afternoon(s) in the evening(s) I’ll see you in the morning.
Do you work in the evening? on Friday morning(s) on Sunday afternoon(s) on 
Monday evening(s) v.v... 
I’ll be at home on Friday morning. Do you usually go out on Saturday evening?

The train will be leaving in a few minutes.
Jack has gone away. He’ll be back in a week. (= a week from now)  
They’re getting married in six months’ time. (hoặc ...in six months.)  
I learnt to drive in four weeks. (= It took me four weeks to learn)

doulbe negative

A linguistics professor was leturing his class one day . "In English" he said :  ' A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. 


However, there is no languages wherein a double positive can form a negative. A loud voice from the back of the room piped up.'Yeah, right'


There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.


An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in

Haircut Free

A man entered a barber's shop with a boy of five or six years of age holding his hand. He was in a great hurry and he asked the barber to cut his hair first and later to cut the boy's hair.

"He can wait, I want you to cut my hair first," he said.

The barber did as he was told and when he has finished the man got out of the chair and the boy tool his place. The man excused himself and said that he would be back in a few minutes and would pay for them both. Then he left and the barber began to cut the boy's hair. When he had finished he picked the boy up and placed him in a chair to wait. He gave him a magazine to look at.

A half hour passed. An hour passed. At last the barber said :

"Don't worry, your father will be back soon"

"My father ?" said the boy. "He isn't my father, I was playing in the street and he came along and said : "Come on with me, little boy. Let's go into this barber's shop together and have our hair cut".

A Gift From Sister

She : "Where did you get that umbrella ?"

He : "It was a gift from sister"

She : "You told me you hadn't any sisters"

He : "I know. But that's what engraved on the handle".

Guess who sent them ?

A young couple that had received many valuable wedding presents established their home in a suburb.

One morning they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show in the city, with a single line : "Guess who sent them"

The pair had much amusement in trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They duly attended the theatre, and had a delightful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value.
 And on the table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets : "Now you know !"

comma

An English professior wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.


The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”


The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

johnny boy

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying.

“Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”.

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up.

The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”

“No, ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself”

River is not deep

A stranger on horse back came to a river with which he was unfamiliar. The traveller asked a youngster if it was deep.

"No", replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.

When the traveller reached the other side he turned and shouted : " I  thought you said it wasn't deep ? "

It isn't, was the boy's reply : '  it only takes grandfather's ducks up to their middles ! "

why don't you whisper

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said : “Mommy, I have to pee.” .
The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word "pee" in church. From now on when you have to "pee" just tell me that you have to whisper.”
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father:
“Daddy, I have to whisper.”
The father looked at him and said, 
“Okay, why don’t you whisper in my ear.”

Are you pleased ?

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world.
One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First, she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "when I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam."
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren’t you pleased that you’ve come to live with us now?"